Monday, December 22, 2008

we have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand... and melting like a snowflake. let us use it before it is too late.

(Marie Beyon Ray)

Christmas season has be creeping up on us... and I've been seriously slacking in the blogging department... hopefully these pictures will make up for it.... lots more to come in the new year!!

This house & barn, is about 20mins from our place. Erin came to visit us this weekend... and here is a preview, of our -36 photoshoot... the pictures without random puppy butts & heads in it.

Callie & Mondae were being pretty good, bounding through the deep snow, and even convinced Jarid to play fetch with them for a bit, mid shoot!


There's our little family (minus SodaPop, and the Dragons)... hope it was enjoyed!!

3 sleeps till Christmas... and Mondae learned how to open presents today!

Cleaning & wrapping presents... here I come!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

the most beautiful adventures are not those we go seek

(Robert Louis Stevenson)

My mom and I were talking when she came to BVille to come visit me. We spoke of work, life, hobbies, dreams... and Christmas. Must in every conversation was an undertone, or a main topic of where my family is right now...

Mom, alone, in the house we grew up in

Myself, moved in with Jarid & our critters almost 3 hours from home

My brother, living with a roomie downtown, emotionally removed from the family situation

Then my father, gone completely off the deep end, moving around & wearing a mullet-wig for halloween, stretching his freedom, hurting us all.

Through all of this...
I've been sticking by Mom, she was blindsided by this... she stood by him all those years... and then he off & fucks off... leaves her in an empty home, with both kids moved out.

I've been trying to stay in touch with my brother... he is distant though, off in his own little world of school. I almost envy is focus. his ability to detatch.

I've been making an effort to not completely hate my father... I can't say anything about him right now that I may not regret saying later... so I'll leave it at that.

So when mom & I were midconversation, I told her that out of all of the incomes we've seen so far with him leaving... that I am so Thankful that we are getting closer than ever before!
I'm so amazed by it... that soon I will write a blog just about that!!!

I saw this postcard on PostSecret today.
And when I read it, I smiled to myself...
Because I've already made this my #1 priority this Christmas
And that only shows how far Mom & I have come together through this!

Its going to be very tough this holiday season... but I am willing & ready to make it a memorable one for Mom... hopefully make her laugh... smile... and spend a few carefree evenings with family, food & friends!


Hope this secret ties this blog up.,...
like a fancy ribbon....
on a gift, straight from the heart...

good night!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

the truth is rarely pure and never simple

(Oscar Wilde)How can you comfort someone, who is upset with you, and so distraught over something you've done...
if they've done the same thing back at you, only the circumstances make it a millions times worse?

Why does it seem like they're just trying to make themselves feel better??

If someone asked me this... I would tell them to follow their heart... to listen to the silence... and figure out what is most important, to themselves.

If I would give this advise... I should probably take it...
crawl into bed, and wrap my arms around his warm body... and hold him, like I want to be held

I will comfort him tonight... and in holding him, nurture my own pain.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

if you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake anything on obtaining it.

(Brendon Francis)

So, tonight while discussing what i'd like to do for my birthday party (skating party on the lake? sounds like good old-fashioned fun to me!!!) Jarid.... lets just say he kind of let the cat of the bag about my birthday...

(Insert swooning, puppy-eyed happy dance here)

He told me I could do it whenever, except for the 19th or 20th... (please note that is a Monday, Tuesday this upcoming year) So, I guess he was planning on talking to my manager about me taking two days off without telling me about it... OOOOOOOO planning ahead... He's planning something romantic & obviously SO WELL!!!

Its for reasons like this... the consideration... the planning... the thought out into a project; that makes me fall head over heels for Jarid all over again.

So much so that the tough-guy act, grumpy pants show... it doesn't even cross my mind.

Becuase I know in my heart of hearts... he's willing to become what I need in a life partner...
He is who I want to be with....

Now off to bed to curl up with my sleeping prince....

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

(Friedrich Nietzsche)

Today was one of those days, that didn't drag too badly, but a bit more sleep would have definately helped the situation.

Its the first day back to work for Jarid, except this shift isn't the regular "10&4", its a full 14 day shift, then he's off for 3 weeks for Christmas. I'm super excited about this, and hopefully if I can take a couple days off way before Christmas, we can go shopping in the city together.

I'm really not looking forward to this 14 day shif, esspecially since he'll probably be spending at least 4 nights up in camp so he isn't pulling 14, 14 hour days in a row... driving there & back like he always does. Up by 430, home around 7 every night.

I really want to start getting on the same(ish) sleep schedule as him, and get a bit of a workout video done in the morning... as much as I can with one hand in a cast I guess.

So bed time for me, Jarid just crawled into bed... and Mondae is curled up already in her bed too.

Hopefully tomorrow I accomplish more if we don't have company the minute I walk in the door, but I definately made a kick ass supper (with Jess' help) for the boys.. its a start!

Good Night & sweet dreams...

a journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.

(Japanese Proverb)

One step forward it is... December 1, 2008.

5 years ago, Jarid and I were high school sweethearts, starting on a clean slate. Planning our first Christmas gifts for each other.
Today, I can hear him snoring in the other room, over my music, and the fireplace fan... yes its probably time I get to bed myself, but I am only driven to release so many thoughts, and plan my Christmas preparation.

First note to self... get camera OUT or software loaded to upload cellphone pictures... tmrw night. Period. no more procrastinating on this one!


(of my own)

Also to do tomorrow early morning .... or late in the evening, create a space of my own on my desk. Clean it up, create an inspiring atmosphere for myself so my creative juices can flow. (this is assuming Internet is accessible from where my desk is situated. Willing to move desk IF needed)

Make hearty supper... time to stop slacking the the kitchen department, just because I am soley left-handed right now is no excuse... ribs, garlic mashed potatoes & steamed vegtables. To be eaten at the kitchen table. Possibly something for dessert as well... we will find out!

On a sidenote.. it is almost 1 am... Jarid is up at 430am to go to work... good thing he was in bed hours ago!!

Ok... unable to connect to fingers crossed this will post... not the bestest blog, but its blog #1, with lots of room for improvement, which will hopefully come to me as swiftly as I'm adjusting to left-handed life.

Thanks Mandy for helping me start this puppy up!! I will continue to use your blog as inspiration, and get prepared to upload pictures... lots & lots of them!! LUMULK!

Goodnight for now... from the girl who should have been in bed hours ago with her man!
(And who also just looked over to see her Mondae, passed out on 2 cushions of the couch, which she isnt' supposed to be on... oops... I should probably wake her up & give her a quick cuddle on her own bed!)